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|Thursday, November 12th, 2009|
|Solve my mystery!
A trail of water mysteriously keeps appearing in the bathroom. It runs from just inside the door of a toilet, past the sinks and to the bathroom door.
I'm not sure in which direction the trail is going. It doesn't go all the way to the toilet bowl, is stops just inside the door.
I have determined this has nothing to do with rain, showers, or pre-prayer foot washing. Any theories that have been proposed have failed to explain why the trail of water does not go all the way to the toilet itself, and why it would go from the toilet door out to the bathroom door.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. And no. I'm not just going to ask the other people who live here, because the two people I suspect are a liar and a psycho. Current Mood: confused
|Saturday, October 31st, 2009|
|No, I can't not watch TV.
Due to the horrific nature of New Zealand TV I have been forced to start watching Australian reality shows. As I'm not a big fan of either reality shows or Australians, this obviously does not please me. Tonight (Friday) my TV choices were these:
1. Four Weddings that British people are putting on to make you hate humanity.
2. Australian Idol
3. Rove proves again that New Zealand cannot do funny (outside of approximately 3 people).
4. That show where the ex-rock guy sleeps with a bunch of skanks.
5. New Zealand Navy attacks!
So of course I watched Australian Idol. After eliminating country girl they were down to the final five; gay boy, old guy, young fella, stupid girl and Stan. I don't know who any of those judges are, two are from England and one is from the East Coast US, but they're morons. Stupid girl is the worst singer on the show and should have been kicked off, but no one ever says that she can't sing. I'll admit she has stage presence, but you can't listen to a cd of stage presence! Then they criticised old guy for being too nice, young fella for being too happy and Stan for at least attempting the lower registers. If they kick Stan, old guy or young fella off next week I'm never watching again. Then I'll only have Biggest Loser: Australia to remind me of how much worse the New Zealand accent could be.
Oh that's right, I watch Biggest Loser: Australia. But only because it's the only thing on at 9 in the morning. I already know that Bob wins, and loses more weight and a larger percentage of his body weight than anyone on any Biggest Loser ever (and at age 56), but I don't care, it's better than the morning show.
|Tuesday, October 27th, 2009|
Cola flavoured yoghurt is not nearly as bad as I expected. It tastes an awful lot like cola bottles (the sweets, not the containers). If only they could have given it an appearance that was slightly less poo-like.
|Tuesday, October 13th, 2009|
You should go and visit my friend's blog about the UK
. Not only because it's worth reading on its own, but because I wrote the entry for today, which means it mentions Dizzee Rascal, the finest man to ever wear a shark suit.
|Monday, October 5th, 2009|
|Saturday, October 3rd, 2009|
|Elephant Man is the real Hulk.
I was reading an article about this mini-feud between two Jamaican musicians. They're called Elephant Man and Flippa Mafia.
Basically Elephant called Flippa a fish, which is Jamaican slang for gay. Flippa came back and said that dolphins are mammals.
Elephant replied "Last time me check it out dolphin a fish."
The article then had one of the greatest pieces of journalism I've ever read 'Online references on Fishbase, Biology-online and Wikipedia suggest that Mafia's clarification is correct, that mammals cannot be fish.'
And being part of Jamaican newspaper, the comments were equally well written.
"So ele and flippa we work it out lol Flippa Ele just big set a mouse pan him and yuh done know lol lol nuh mek size frighten yuh puppa"
I couldn't agree more.
|Monday, September 28th, 2009|
|To whatever stole my toothpaste...
Hilarious. You disappeared my toothpaste from my shelf, probably while I was still in the house. I can respect that. But now it's time to give it back. I've searched the drawers under the shelf, no toothpaste among the socks. I've looked underneath all of the books, papers and random wires all over my desk. No toothpaste. I know I still have that tube of travel toothpaste to get through, but I want my toothpaste with a stripe of minty freshness. And just so you know, if you start stealing my toothbrushes, I'm coming after you.
|Monday, September 21st, 2009|
I bought Indian food today. I got it home and discovered that half of my meal was missing. The non-rice, non-naan part. After I called them and walked all the way back, I got my chana masala, popadoms, some weirdly nice sauce and some money back. It was almost worth having to get dressed again.
|Saturday, September 12th, 2009|
I got up this morning, topped up my mug of tea from last night and threw it in the microwave. As I took my first sip while I was eating my breakfast I thought it tasted a little sweet. Never mind, I had honey on my toast, and it was probably just sweetening my whole mouth. Until I realised, I'd put Pepsi in my mug the night before, and hadn't finished it. On the upside, hot Pepsi and Earl Grey isn't all that bad.
|Thursday, September 3rd, 2009|
I'd begun to hate Seth Rogan and his loveable stoner act, but now I've realised he can do so much more. He can also perform as a really angry insane person. Which is why Observe and Report is the best mall cop movie there is. That's right, it's better than Mall Cop. It actually was an entertaining film, and I'm not just saying that because of the full-frontal male nudity. I laughed and amazingly enough I managed to sit through the whole movie without getting up and doing something else for while.
I expected the Boat that Rocked to be good based on the people that are in it, and it was. The music was fantastic, all of the actors were their typical wonderful selves, and even the plot was interesting. Now if only they'd managed to include some aliens, it would have been as good as District 9. Ignoring Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy and Kenneth Branagh, all of whom I love, the film also had Ed from Shaun of the Dead, Roy from the IT crowd, Rhys Darby from 2degrees mobile phone ads (and Flight of the Conchords) and Spike from Notting Hill. Since it was about pirate rock and roll radio in the sixties, the soundtrack was well worth listening to.
|Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009|
|Films this week.
Jason Statham was not in this enough. When he was in it, he was wearing too much clothing.
Jason Statham cannot be defeated by a combination of William H. Macy and Johnny Storm, that is ridiculous. More ridiculous even than the rest of the plot, which was totally ludicrous.
There was absolutely no reason to do a techno remix of Sinnerman, that was a great song ruined. Merlin and the Book of Beasts:
Baltar! With some sort of Welsh accent.
I've certainly seen worse Merlin films. But that's saying almost nothing.The Locals:
I thought it was just a typical horror film until someone set themselves on fire for no good reason. Then things began to happen. Interesting premise, watchable film. Could have used some sheep though.
|Sunday, August 30th, 2009|
What the hell is Desmond doing in the Dead Like Me movie? He should be off finishing the final season of Lost so I can watch it. The girl that plays the little sister grew up a lot better looking than I would have expected.
|Sunday, August 23rd, 2009|
I know NZ people don't normally stay up late, but it seems that the TV people are convinced that they also completely lose their minds once the clock hits midnight. The Wallabies/All-blacks game came on TV at 23.30 (thanks to Australia being in a silly place), and the first few penalty kicks were all shown as expected. Then the score suddenly started changing without anyone actually doing anything. Apparently the Australians were just racking up the points, without any of it actually appearing on TV. Of the six penalty kicks (I'm assuming there were no drop-goals) they showed two, possibly three. However, every single All-Blacks point was televised. I'd probably have been much more excited by the end of the match if the score had actually felt as close as it was.
Final score: 19-18 All Blacks.
Observed score: 19-6 All Blacks. Current Mood: confused
|Wednesday, August 5th, 2009|
|Sunday, August 2nd, 2009|
Pākehā - this word is not an insult; its derivation is obscure; it is the Māori word for people living in New Zealand of British/European origin; originally it would not have included, for example, Dalmatians, Italians, Greeks, Indians, Chinese, etc.
Dalmatians? Really? Apparently it's a region in Croatia, but I'm not sure that those are the first people who pop to mind when one thinks of foreigners in New Zealand.
|Friday, July 31st, 2009|
We were wondering why there was a story on the evening news about a cat in the UK who gets on the bus everyday, right up until the owner-lady said 'I really worry. What if the cat gets off at the wrong stop and gets lost?' Then it all became clear.
How did the alt key on my laptop get all warped? I don't think I've ever even used that key before. I wonder how long it's been like that. Maybe I slept on it or something. Current Mood: confused
|Tuesday, July 14th, 2009|
There was a news story on TV just now that said police in Victoria (Australia) weren't going to be issued Tasers because they were too trigger-happy. The evidence for this? Police bullets there have killed 30 people.....in 20 years. Yea, they sound as if they're just running around shooting people like madmen. For comparison, police in Mesa, Arizona killed 5 people in 2008 alone, with a population about 1/10 that of Victoria. Current Mood: amused
|Saturday, June 27th, 2009|
I have been repeatedly mocked for my love of the Fiat 500, but I would just like to point out that Michael-freaking-Schumacher has one. Which makes him at least as cool as me.
Speaking of, here's hoping it stays above freezing this evening during the All Blacks game. I knew I should have bought those tiny mittens I saw at the $2 shop.